Busventure

I’m one of those people who lives by the rules. They exist for a reason for god’s sake!

So you can imagine my nerves when, for the first time in my life, I got on a bus without paying for a ticket. Why I didn’t pay is a whole other story about my personal awareness bullshit.

Anyway… I placed myself by the front door so that if someone who looked like a conductor get in, I could jump off immediately. I don’t have enough resolve to getting caught! But standing there made my nerves worse, so I started focusing on the people around me instead. A mother was helping her son with his homework, and by coincidence, it was of my knowledge. I thought why not? and offered to explain. The mom looked pleased, the son… vaguely content, not too happy, not too annoyed. I was expecting more gratitude.

Then the bus stopped. I need to focus. I scanned the incoming passengers, and there he was; hat, posture, looks… textbook conductor, and a very neat look if I may be precise. Before I could process the information and decide to act and act turns into physical action the doors closed. God damn it, I am slow…

“I can’t handle this now” I thought, slowly sliding toward the middle of the bus. Maybe if I chatted with someone, I could blend in. I started up a conversation with an old man and the young woman beside him. Turned out she was his daughter and she is a teacher, mystery solved. Aha small achievements... I asked to myself “ok if the conductor asks me of my ticket, this old man and his daughter may help me slip off?”

NOOOO, shit…

I saw the conductor, looking around and slowly sliding towards the middle. My panic rose, adrenaline pumping, I started making bad decisions. I started walking to the back. Now I was literally sweating of nervousness. A woman asked if I was okay. I must’ve looked ill because she guided me to her seat.

Aha! The opportunity came to me, HAHA! finally, the perfect excuse. I was sick! You can’t ask a ticket from a sick person.

Then she shouted: “Is there a doctor here? This man is not well!”

Oh my god. I was fine, why yell it out like that? I am trying to vanish, not to be the center of attention…

From the front, a familiar voice called back: “Yes, I am. How can I help?” It was the mother helping his son on homework.

“Thanks, doc, I’m a nurse. I think he might be having a heart attack!”

OH MY GOD. A heart attack?! No way. Was I? No. No, no, no, no. I was fine. The only thing I was missing was a goddamn ticket!

The doctor came over, looked me over, and said, “Oh, you’re the guy who helped us earlier. Anyway, I don’t think it’s anything serious, but you should jump off at the next stop.”

Still no idea why she said that, maybe she knew I didn't have tickets and it was an act, but I took her advice anyway. And as I stepped off, I got close to the conductor and yes finally we were in eye contact, I was ready to shout, of course not out loud but even if it is internal I really needed that winning moment… I wanted to shout in me "I WOOONNNNN"

and that moment came when I had a closer look to the conductor to see that he is actually a cosplayer most probably going to an event…